Downtown Toronto Strip Club Report 2006

Toronto Life ran this story in July 2006. Has much changed since then?

Brass Rail

The sleekest of the downtown clubs (and the only one to rival Tony Soprano's Bada Bing! club in the fantasy department), this Yonge Street legend boasts a great sound system, sophisticated lighting and high ceilings. The drinks are expensive (domestic beer is $8.75), but the women are beautiful. One by one, they descend a staircase straight out of 1940s Hollywood-one of the dancers is the spitting image of Grace Kelly-and work the stage. The pole work is impressive, the undulations python-esque and the bottoms positively pear-shaped. Here, as elsewhere, the name of the game is the private dance, and the recruitment drive is usually successful. The crowd is studded with cocky player types who, following their chosen woman to a private booth, suddenly morph into the proverbial shy guy at the prom. Upstairs, at the even more upscale Upper Brass, the $20 cover buys you a more select circle of ladies. 701 Yonge St. (at Charles St. E.), 416-924-1241; Upper Brass, 699 Yonge St. (at Charles St. E.), 416-934-0900.

For Your Eyes Only

Billed as an upscale club, For Your Eyes Only certainly tries to be posh. There's a mandatory coat check, a pro forma dress code (no cut-offs or dirty clothing) and a policy of seating guests. But, in the end, the club resembles every other strip joint in town; it's the same old red and black hall of mirrors, albeit on a grander scale. There's a two-storey central hall surrounded by an extensive gallery, and lots of private booths and rooms, where big spenders can impress small groups of friends for $60 to $250 per hour-plus booze, taxes and, of course, entertainment. The club's niftiest feature is a half-moon-shaped bar at the edge of the stage, the setting of choice for oglers who need to get lubricated (beers are $8) while being lubricious. Promoting their private dances, the sultry women are friendlier than most. And the barrel-voiced announcer is a hoot. 563 King St. W. (at Spadina), 416-585-9200.

Jilly's

Maybe it's the pool table, the trucker types or the "Rooms for Rent" sign outside, but this is probably the most relaxed of the downtown peeler palaces. It could be an old-fashioned beer parlour, if it weren't for the nude entertainment and high-priced drinks (though the listing for Dom Perignon on the blackboard is surely a joke). Old-school waiters in black pants and white shirts amble through the crowd; the girls take it off on a stage so constricted you can watch them reassemble their street persona in the wings (in real life, the most voluptuous dancer dons a pair of Marion the Librarian spectacles). In general, the kink is creative: a pigtailed Asian stripper in red boots and a schoolgirl kilt dances to reggae; a goth with lip piercings starts off wearing a bat-like leather shrug. Beer $7.25 (no draft), cocktails $7.75. 106 Broadview Ave. (at Queen St. E.), 416-466-8756.

Mystique Lounge

Decorated in a Zsa Zsa mix of leopard skin prints, scroll-backed chairs and gilt mirrors, this midtown landmark (formerly known as Cheaters) feels a lot like an over-decorated living room. The stage is roughly the size of a Rosedale dining-room table and about the same height; fancy chairs are arranged around the edges. A series of private cubicles are equipped with comfortable seats and heavy, swagged curtains. Though the decor is smart, the atmosphere is more relaxed than in most clubs; for one thing, the dancers aren't as pushy as their downtown cousins. Judging from the number of guys in business suits, this is a popular after-work spot for the north Toronto set. 2087 Yonge St. (at Manor Rd. E.), 416-481-8772.

Remington's

It's difficult to titillate a group of jaded gay guys. And the male strippers at Remington's know it, limiting their routines to a shuffle, a strip and a few tugs at the merchandise. Shirts come off almost immediately and jeans spend a lot of time dangling from melon-shaped butts, but the actual dancing is limited; a few spins around the pole is about as enthusiastic as it gets. Because, in the end, performances are nothing more than a promo for the private sessions upstairs. Variety comes from the different body types, everything from beefy, black truck driver to skinny, white boy-next-door. The crowd is a mix of older men raptly contemplating infinity and younger guys out for a good time. Beer $5.75; cover $5 (except Mondays and before 8 p.m.); women admitted on Friday, Saturdays (from 9 on) and Sundays (any time). 379 Yonge St. (at Gerrard St. E.), 416-977-2160.

Zanzibar Tavern

The neon girl on the sign is having a grand old time, kicking a top hat to the stars. But the dancers inside this mirror-filled Toronto landmark are a little more businesslike. Though goddesses are few and far between (the women are attractive, but not stunningly so), the strippers are experts in marketing. A skinny blonde removes her panties while hanging upside down on a swing. A voluptuous Latina writhes on a platform that rises out of the stage. A hefty blonde wears hippie-esque denim everywhere except where it counts. And, to quote Donna Summer, they work hard for the money. The promotion of private dances is polite but unrelenting: if you're male and upright, you're going to get hit on. (Maybe as often as 10 times an hour.) Beer $6.25-$8.25; tableside dance $10; and $20 for "forbidden." 359 Yonge St. (at Gerrard St. E.), 416-977-4642.

The reviewer chose to overlook Filmores Gentlemen's Club at 212 Dundas St East in Toronto, Ontario

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